The Invention of the Giant Crumpet & other friends

Unfortunately, I wasn’t around in 1928 when the first bread slicing machine was invented or I might have been suitably impressed.

But I was around 6 months ago when Warburton’s introduced the world to the Giant Crumpet, I was overwhelmed with excitement and ore – even Kermit seemed to be impressed.

It’s not often I see something new and innovative.

O.K – a giant crumpet’s not going to save the world, (well it might if it was the size of Europe) but at the end of the day it’s just a crumpet the size of 2 standard ones – but who wouldn’t want a giant one – – I do – – genius.

It’s opened the flood gates to a whole host of Gigantic Bevies – like bananas the size of marrows (yes) or giant donuts the size of dinner plates (yes, yes, yes) – its already happened in Gt Yarmouth with the 3 ft dog!

Well, this got me thinking what else over the years has left me in fascination, bliss and foodie excitment –

The Foam – that was pretty exciting at the time, why had we never though before to whip the poop out of a sauce and only serve the froffy slightly tasteless part – might be why it’s fizzled out!

Cheats Aoli – this is a sauce I make on my Italian or Spanish Tapas cookery course. The fascination happened on a holiday to my dad’s in Spain when his son in law made a garlic mayonnaise, I asked him how he made it and he simply told me Emulsified Milk with garlic. ‘You can’t use milk as an emulsifier – it’s impossible’ I exclaimed. He then took me in to the kitchen and showed me (the sauce method!) – – it was amazing (the sauce!), not life changing (still the sauce) but fascinating in a really exciting foodie way.

Egg Hoppers – Wow, when you go on holiday to Sri-Lanka you’ll know they are super-mad on this foodie heaven pancake. It’s a simple fermented rice and coconut blend, cooked in a wok – making a spongy thick bottom and a swirled edge forming the wok shape, a fried egg is tossed in to the middle for an egg hopper, but you can have all sorts of filling making the staple Sri-Lankan breakfast. I’m still so super-mad about making these and have tried several times, but I need a local to show me the way of the hopper. What an amazing thing a hopper is.

Beer Bread – If you’re lucky you may well have had this on one of my cookery courses. I discovered the recipe yonk’s ago and have been making it ever since. It’s simply SR flour, beer, a touch of honey and seasoning – no kneading, no proving, just bish bosh bash  – cook it and enjoy. And boy! Is it enjoyable – truly an amazingly easy recipe that tastes sooooooooooo goooooood.

Marshmallows & other friends – imagine my joy when I was a proper grown up chef & discovered I could replicate sweets – – – sweets I had enjoyed as a child. Overjoyed I was, when after studying patisserie at Westminster I went for a while in to the pastry kitchen & part of that was playing. Yes, playing – it’s not work making sweets. But the day I discovered I could make marshmallows was a day of wonder – I didn’t stop for years, every place I worked I built marshmallows in to the menu. Fluffy delights of sweet sensations – marshmallows you are insane, I love you.

It might be hard to understand a foodies delight. For instance, I was watching Guy Martin last night in China and he was cycling behind a cement pourer – he was overjoyed by its design and brilliance – that’s me I thought.

Only a true foodie can be overjoyed by an erupting avocado.

Only a mechanic can be overjoyed by a cement truck.

And maybe

Only a little greedy foodie pig can be excited by a giant crumpet.

By that little greedy foodie pig

Zena Leech-Calton ©